Friday, 22 May 2009

Rambling thoughts...

So here I sit at my machine.. wondering if I am even going to post this or just keep it to myself. I guess if you are reading this now, then it means I decided to share it with the world..

As you all know, I have been really emotional about Kayleigh for the past month or so.. especially with her passing... Today I have felt really down - I think the fact that Daniel is ill and we are not getting much sleep definitely has something to do with it..Anyway, Adam told me a story at dinner tonight that has reduced me to tears. I know some of you must be wondering what on earth is going on with me..and the truth is.. I don't know!

The story that Adam told me at dinner concerns child abuse and for some reason it has affected me so badly that I am an emotional wreck at the moment.. let me back-track.

Today I have been trying to find a story (or piece of news or politics) for me to blog about. I have been looking for a topic that means something to me..I have searched in our local newspaper as well as our national newspapers, trying to find something to inspire a post that does not focus on my chilren.

Okay okay, I know this post is rambling a bit.. and a bit without flow, but stay with me..please..

So tonight Adam tells me this story and I just fall apart - yes, I managed to hold it together until Caleb was in bed. The thing is this..

I won't go into detail with this story that Adam told me, but the abuse was horfic, and I keep thinking about this poor child and what he has suffered at the hands of his drugged up father and the agony this child must have suffered, and I think about how absolutely wrong the world is to allow this small child to suffer so much, and yet people like Aimee and Adam (Kayleigh's parents) who have lost their little girl would give anything to have her with them.

How does the world (read fate.. or God) allow Kayleigh to die and yet leaves this poor sweet child in the care of a drug addict who inflicted such horrific abuse on his own child??? How can that be right?

Don't tell me about His greater plan.. or that it all has a reason.. what plan or reason can there be for leaving a child with such a monster and yet take Kayleigh away from such loving parents..

I wanted to write so much more about this topic.. but I feel physically exhausted and emotionaly drained.. so I am going to stop typing now.. and try to forget..I am not going to even spell check.. I know there are errors.. but I just don't have the energy to change them..

Let me forget..


cheekymama said...

I never understand such things myself. I have no words of comfort and no insight to offer. These are the times when you hug your babies and remember how lucky we are to have what we have.

Tristan said...

I struggle with the reasoning for certain things also.
Sometimes..I think they're can not possibly be a reason...but there always is.
Kayleigh is in God's glory....we must take peace in that.
I am going to be an assistant social worker..just for that help innocent children.