Tuesday, 28 July 2009

Daniel is Crawling...

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Firstly.. let me thank all of you for your prayers - It was a false alarm.. What a blessing! Adam and I are both so relieved!

Secondly, Daniel has just started crawling.. can you believe it? In this video it is only about his third attempt - since this video was taken last week, he is now really on the move!

Sunday, 26 July 2009

Benoni Gathering of the Clans




These videos were taken at the Gathering at Benoni High last weekend - It was also the SA Champs - well done to the Jocks.. you deserved to win, you were, without doubt, the best on the day!

The first video is of BMT - we have been rooting for them for years (Go Gareth & Bruce) which is why I took a video of them, but I have to say that this year they were really not up to scratch as you will see when you watch it. Had I known how absolutely awesome the Jocks would be, I would have taken a vid of them instead.

BTW.. in case you are wondering.. yes I love the pipes! The third video is my favourite - I missed the beginning because some silly man was chatting to me..

Enjoy!

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Thursday, 23 July 2009

A little time...

To all my readers a big sorry.. I know I am not posting... but life is hectic at the moment.

There is a medical issue regarding Adam.. and it is taking a heavy toll - I am very freaked out about it.. Adam is pretending that it doesn't bother him, but I know he is struggling.

We see the specialist tomorrow morning and, with Adam's permission I will come and update then.. but for now I am just trying to hold it together and pray for the best.

If you are a person of faith, I ask for your prayers now..

Monday, 20 July 2009

Dinner with the boys







Love you my boys... very much.. You are all unique.. and I love each of you just the way you are.
Thank you so much for loving me..with all my craziness



Sunday, 19 July 2009

I don't like it!


Firstly let me apologise for my silence - this past week I have been trying to get my head straight - I am pleased to report my head is now straight!

This picture was taken on Tuesday - Caleb, like all children hates vegetables. He let me put the gem squash into his mouth, but then he lost it and threw a tantrum, the likes of which measured on the Richter Scale - he was convinced the vegetable would kill him if he swallowed it.

He won, we lost and the gem squash ended up in the bin!

Sunday, 12 July 2009

Who would do such a thing?

On Friday night my friend Sam and I went out for a few drinks. We went to our regular hangout - which is a pub just down the road from both our houses. One of the reasons we go there is because we know the owners and the staff, so we generally feel safe at this venue - especially since we go out without our other halves, and sitting in a pub for an evening without a male escort can sometimes be a less than safety conscious move, even in this day and age. Most of the regulars know us and look out for us - something went wrong on Friday night...


Sam and I both have a rather high tolerance level for alcohol - or perhaps it is just that we both handle alcohol very well - which means that we can have quite a few drinks and still not lose control. On Friday we both had a fair number of drinks. Some of them were bought for us and not by regulars to this establishment. In hindsight, there were way more "single" men there than usual.. and loads whom we had never met before..

I cannot tell you how it happened for my memory is a little hazy - which in itself is unusual as I am not one who forgets what happens.. All we know is that both Sam and I are convinced our drinks were spiked. We do not believe that it was one of the "date-rape' drugs as we did not feel sleepy.. or disoriented. We do however believe that it was some form of narcotic - probably to make us party more..

As I said, we went out on Friday night...and we were both still feeling the effects on Saturday afternoon.. some of the effects I experienced are:
Racing heart - in a big way!
Pulse all over the place
Nausea
Anxiety
Headache
Sweats
Shivers
Sam and I both said it felt like we were shaking on the inside...

Luckily nothing happened to us.. and we look out for each other...but it could have ended very badly... I don't understand how someone can do something like that and still sleep at night?

It has left such a bad taste in my mouth (literally and figuratively)! Sam and I really enjoy our evenings out together and it is a pity that someone with such sinister motives has ruined it for us!

Thursday, 9 July 2009

D-Day

As I sit and remember
When you were still a part of me
I try to forget
Your life was never meant to be
You were given a life, a soul, a name
But now things will never be the same
You were mine to give life to
Though only for a while
Then things changed and
I will never see your smile
Yet my love for you will never disappear
Though your voice, your laugh
I will never get to hear
You will always be my baby
Though I have never seen your face
Not a thing in this world
Will ever take your place

Happy EDD Little One - I hope you are eating cake and opening presents in Heaven..

Is it wrong for me to want today to pass quickly...tick tock tick tock
u

Monday, 6 July 2009

Where is He?

If God is out there then where is He?

I know I know, another depressing post... but Thursday is drawing near (click here to understand the meaning of Thursday) and I am struggling with it.. it is suffocating..

And I am struggling...

It hurts and I am struggling..

So answer me this.. where is God? If He knows my pain and He sees all then where is He?

I have looked for Him so many times.. so many times have I tried to find what the reborn have found.. but it eludes me... Where is He?

Saturday, 4 July 2009

Darryl - The Cousin!

This is my cousin Darryl and my sister's best friend Sarah!

Darryl lives about an hour's drive from me and Sarah lives about 4 hours drive from me. Yesterday we met up for a drink or two and it got a little out of hand... just a little!

It was awesome to see Darryl again - we get together far too seldom (Darryl you know why..lol) but now that the situation has changed, I hope to see more of you... We have so little family this far inland that I think we should take care of the ones we have!

Sarah is my sister Angie's best buddy... and last night was the second time that I have met her. The first time was at a very stressful and tense family reunion, so we never really got to chat, but last night I spent quit a bit of time with her and she is fabulous!!! Hope to see you again soon too...

I apologise for the quality of the picture...:)

Friday, 3 July 2009

MckLinky Blog Hop!

My blog is about anything and everything!

I love posting pictures of my family and friends and blogging about the goings-ons in my life. More importantly though are the posts that I blog about my "thoughts" these posts are concerned with whatever is on my mind at the time - be it religion, politics, emotional topics or just my random thoughts on life and my purpose in it!

My blog has become an obsession with me and there are very few days that I do not post about something. I love to write and the more I write the more I want to write!

Hi, my name is Kerren and I am an addicted blogger!

I hope you will enjoy reading my blog as much as I enjoy writing it!


Thursday, 2 July 2009

Who is your X?

This will be my third post for the day ... but it is another one of those posts that wont be denied.. it crawls around inside my mind driving me a little more crazy with ever tick-tock of the clock - whispering constantly to my inner self until I finally give-in.. succumb... open my laptop and begin to type.. I know I will find no rest or peace until it is down.. out of my brain and shared with whomever is drawn to it..so here it comes...

Have you noticed how some people uplift you? How they add to your strength and your sense of self worth and peace with the world? They fill you with energy and you feel revitalised after spending time with them? It is a relationship that offers so much..

Then of course there is the other side of the coin - We all have people in our lives who literally suck the life out of us. When you know you are going to spend time with them you always feel a little trepidation - an uneasy sort of feeling way down in the pit of your stomach. After being in their company you feel drained...exhausted... relieved to be leaving and going home. They are takers - it is always about them - they think of nothing other than what is important to them and what they can gain from the relationship. They will suck the joy from your soul and not once ask you if you are okay.. if there is something you would like to talk about.. or something that is important to you? Takers!

Why is this do you suppose? Why do some people leave us feeling good about ourselves while others can make us feel like we have aged 100 years in just a very short space of time? And the real kicker is that it is probably different with other people - what I mean is... Let say X is someone in my life who drains me, but Adam finds X interesting, funny and downright fun. How is it that one person can have such a different effect on Adam and I, when surely we must be similar to be in a happy marriage? This question troubles me - and the truth of it, is that it means that to some people I am uplifting to their soul - and to another I am draining! Whoa.. not a nice thought is it?

Then let me ask you this: Why is it that we keep the takers around? Is it because they are family and you can't walk away? Is it because we feel better about who we are when we judge them? Perhaps.. perhaps it is these things...perhaps if I am honest with myself I will find that I have purely selfish reasons for keeping them in my world... I am not sure..

There is one such taker in my world who I like to believe I keep in my world because I believe I can help this person (lets call him/her X)....I believe that X is not in a very good space right now and really..obviously.. needs a good friend... so I stay.. and I listen to X moan and moan and moan every day... and I offer advice... and I lend an ear... and I let X lean on my shoulder... and I try to not think of my needs in the relationship - and I like to think that I am doing it for the right reasons and I am keeping the moral high-ground.... and that one day... someday... X will say thank you.. and ask if there is anything I need... one day..

Surely this cannot be true though? If I feel this much resentment because you never ask about me... it is always about you... and this resentment is growing, then how can this be a friendship? More importantly, it means surely that I have lost the moral high-ground? Surely it means that I am not a good friend to X?

I don't know..

Truly I don't..

Some days I think I should just cut X from my life

Other days I tell myself to suck it up.. its not about me.. that's not what this relationship is based on.. X needs me.. that is why I am here...


Perhaps one day...

And now it is done..the voice is silent... and I can rest...

It only counts if they see you...

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Daniel Safe and Sound

Daniel had his op this morning and all went according to plan. He was very unhappy when he came out, but as soon as the meds kicked in he was spaced - see exhibit A above..lol

He is now resting peacefully - Lets hope this is the start of some good sleep for the whole family!