Friday, 10 December 2010

Emotionally Drained...

Doctor B is trying to kill me.. I am convinced of it!

Lizelle has taken to calling him Doctor Feelgood, because usually once I finish a session with him that's how I feel... but not this week!

He wants to delve into things that I am not ready to talk about... and it is causing me stress...

He says that I need to talk about them so that they lose the power to frighten me... but I am not convinced...  I have always been of the belief that if I keep them locked away and do not give them any energy, then they cannot hurt me...  He disagrees...

It's just that some of these things I have kept hidden for so long.. I am not sure I want to feel it all again.. But Doctor B says that memories should not have power over us.. that they only have power over us if we allow them to affect our present.. if we allow them to hurt as real events rather than just memories of something that happened.  I tried to convince him that he is wrong.. unfortunately, he is right... and we both know it...

So right now I am feeling emotionally drained... and just not ready to face my demons... eish.. wish it was all over with ...

I want to write more, but have worked my arms so hard in the past couple of days that they feel weak and like they are too heavy for me to lift.. so I have to stop typing now.. every keystroke is agony...

Watch this space!

Monday, 6 December 2010

Music Monday



In honour of a Sunday spent working hard and having fun..

Tuesday, 30 November 2010

You would think I would know better...

In January of this year I destroyed my left ankle - it was one of the most painful, not to mention embarrassing experiences of my entire life!  Ten months later, I still have marks on my ankle, and it is still not back to its original shape, but with a great many hours of cycling and taking it slowly, I am happy to report that the ankle is strong and healthy!  However, that is not the point of this post...

On that fateful day in January, as I was being wheeled into another exam room in the hospital, I vowed that I would never walk Caleb to school again.  I was convinced that "The Powers That Be" were giving me a clear warning that it was not meant to be...  Every time since then that Caleb has asked if we can walk to school I have made some silly excuse and avoided it like the plague..

Today I clearly left my brain asleep when I woke up... I agreed that we could walk to school.. dumb and dumber here we come...

It was a disaster from the moment the words came out of my mouth.. Firstly, it is meant to be summer here in southern Africa - today is anything but summery... There is a chill in the air and a fine mist falling constantly.. Oi.. what a day for a a walk!

Daniel was not cooperating at all - We are in the process of potty-training with him, and he is doing exceptionally well, however, I was a little hesitant to walk all the way to the school without him wearing a diaper - it was at this point that the entire expedition was doomed to failure!  After many attempts to dress Daniel failed dismally, I eventually managed to bribe him by allowing him to wear his Lightning McQueen T-Shirt (this boy is McQueen crazy!).  Due to the rain and chill in the air, I insisted that he wear a light-weight sweater over the shirt..  Naturally this was a stupid move on my part, as what is the point of wearing Lightning McQueen T-Shirt if your idiotic mother is going to cover it with a sweater???  I mean really, what was I thinking???

This then erupted in a tantrum to end all tantrums!  It goes without saying that I am a seasoned tantrum-ignoring-mom... Caleb was very skilled in this art; Daniel takes it to a whole new level though, and by the time I was ready to curl up in the foetal position and whimper while repeatedly smacking my head against the floor, Daniel was in full swing!

The problem, was that normally I would just completely ignore him until he calmed down and stopped screaming at me, however, Caleb needed to get to school and the clock was ticking...   We walked out the gate with Daniel in full scream...

He performed and yelled all the way to the school and back... people driving along were staring at me... Mothers were giggling at my distress... and it was the final nail in the coffin for walking to school..

Never again I say.. never again!

Sunday, 28 November 2010

Is there life after Blackberry?

I keep looking for you
searching
feeling lost
alone
and so cut off from the world..

Sigh..

Of whom do I speak?  The answer may shock you...

I am writing tonight about the devastating loss of my Blackberry.  Although, it has to be said that loss is not the correct word.  My Blackberry was stolen.. that's right.. stolen... And it is not like I left it out in the open, or forgot it at the ATM (which I have done before btw - but returned in time to find it still there).  It was in the pocket of my jacket, which was on the back of my chair at dinner. 

I am truly in mourning.. I love that phone with a passion bordering on OCD.  My Blackberry and I are always together.. and I mean ALWAYS!  When I brush my teeth she is there next to the basin waiting patiently for me to finish my ablutions.  When I walk from the bathroom across our bedroom to my closest, she is there waiting on the shelf with my T-shirts for me to finally make up my mind as to which outfit will best suit OUR mood that day.  If I am making coffee, cooking dinner, watching TV or taking out the rubbish my BB is there..

And now she is gone.. stolen away by some spawn of Satan into the night.. never to be seen again.. Oh woe is me.. How will I cope... where do I turn?  I feel like I have lost a close friend.. a sister.. a confidant..

The only upside to this "death in the family" is that Adam insisted we insure our phones a month or two ago... Plus I did a back-up from my phone last Tuesday - which I have not done in months..

So there is light at the end of the tunnel.. it is very faint... and very far away (it will be at least 2 days until I finalise all the paperwork to replace her), but at least there is a light..

Will it ever be the same?  Can a new sister truly ever replace the one that is lost?

Woe.. woe.. oh woe is me!

Thursday, 25 November 2010

Cherry Mistmas!

Once again this year, I've had requests for my Tequila Christmas Cake recipe so here goes:

Please keep in your files as I am beginning to get tired of typing this up every year!

1 cup sugar
1 tsp baking powder
1 cup water
1 tsp. salt
1 cup brown sugar
Lemon juice
4 large eggs
Nuts
1 bottle tequila
2 cups dried fruit

Sample the tequila to check quality.

Take a large bowl; check the tequila again to be sure it is of the highest quality...Repeat.

Turn on the electric mixer. Beat one cup of butter in a large fluffy bowl.

Add 1 teaspoon of sugar. Beat again.

At this point, it is best to make sure the tequila is still OK.

Try another cup just in case.

Turn off the mixerer thingy.Break 2 eggs and add to the bowl and chuck in the cup of dried fruit.

Pick the fruit up off the floor.

Mix on the turner.If the fried druit gets stuck in the beaterers, just pry it loose with a drewscriver.

Sample the tequila to test for tonsisticity. Next, sift 2 cups of salt, orsomething.Check the tequila. Now shift the lemon juice and strain your nuts.

Add one table. Add a spoon of sugar, or somefink. Whatever you can find.Greash the oven.Turn the cake tin 360 degrees and try not to fall over.

Don't forget to beat off the turner. Finally, throw the bowl through the
window.

Finish the tequila and wipe the counter with the cat.

Cherry Mistmas!

Monday, 22 November 2010

It's the price you pay...


As most of you know, Caleb is having a few troublesissues and things at the moment.  We are trying everything we can think of to help him.  One of the things we firmly believe in is that Caleb needs to be in a school where he receives special attention - now.. here comes the problem...

Caleb is in a private school.  We believe it is one of the best schools in our area and we love it.  The thing is, Caleb's school is rather expensive.  On the plus side, there are only 18 children to a class, and each class has a teacher and a teachers aid, which means that Caleb gets personal attention and the teacher is not over-worked - which means that she is able to pick things up as soon as they appear.

Take Caleb's current "troubles", she noticed at almost the same time we did that something was up... that there was something going on..  So based on that, Adam and I firmly believe that we have Caleb in the right school.. the problem is that their fees have increased by 27% for next year.  Now don't get me wrong, we understand that everything is going up.. but 27%??? Its insane..

If you take into consideration that Daniel will start school next year sometime, and I am still not pulling my weight financially in the home, this is leading to quite a few sleepless nights for me...  We have been considering that we may have to move him to a different school for 2012.. The headache is, where do we send him?  A few people have mentioned the names of one or two other "good" schools in the area that are far less expensive, and Adam and I have been looking into it.  However, every school we consider has between 35 and 50 children per class with only one teacher...

Only one teacher for that many children means that Caleb may slip through the cracks... and if that happens, who knows where we will be by the teenage years. 

Caleb is extremely bright... we have known this for a while.. In fact, we have been told it by many different people - most of them the Doctors and Specialists we have been taking him to recently to try to figure out how to help him... Children of Caleb's intelligence are sometimes misdiagnosed with ADHD because they are unable or unwilling to sit still and do the same repetitive work over and over...

Our latest specialist, who Caleb saw an hour or so ago, was testing his eyes, the health of his eyes, as well as any neurological issues with the eyes to try to determine if perhaps he is struggling with converting what he sees into something he can understand.  She told me that Caleb's eye-sight as well as eye-brain development is advanced for his age.  She also asked if we are aware that Caleb is a very bright child, and have we considered that he may be misdiagnosed with ADHD... I laughed...

She also asked me if we have considered kitting out our garden to better entertain him and keep him stimulated.. I laughed at that too... You see, our garden is really geared for children - we have a HUGE trampoline, ropes hanging from the trees (it looks like Monkey World), swings, a large jungle-gym, a sand-pit and numerous other play things.  He has a skateboard, a weird modernised looking skateboard, a couple of bikes and a section of the garden specially designed for him to play with his toy snakes and things.. so yes, I think our garden is a pretty good haven for an active boy.

So I am not sure where we go from here... Next week he will be having his ears tested to ensure that there is nothing going on there that could be causing his headaches etc... but other than that, I do not know where to turn..  And on top of that, the worry over the cost of his school is enough to age any parent before their time..

I guess all things work out the way they should... I just hope that this one works out the best possible way for our Special Caleb...

Wednesday, 17 November 2010

He is...

He is like a G&T after a long hot dry day...
He is a new way of looking at the same old thing..
He is expression without consequence...

Who is he? He is my therapist... and he is fabulous!

Anyone who is close to me knows that I have been in a rough patch recently... In fact, anyone who reads my blog probably knows it too... And I know that some of the topics I have blogged about have not been well received by some of my readers, but this blog is about me.. and my thoughts.. and my feelings.. It is my truth, and my state of mind... and tonight's post will be no different.. so you have been warned!

I have been to many therapists in my life.. many.. many.. many.. and I have always gone into therapy with a sense of hope, that perhaps this time will be different, perhaps this is the person who can help me.  The bottom line is that none of them ever have and I always leave feeling less hopeful and less connected to the world than when I started.. Until I met Doctor B!

I have been seeing Doctor B for about a month now and the change is undeniable!  Doctor B has a way about him that makes me feel like I am having a beer with an old trusted friend, rather than feeling like I am being inspected to see just how insane I really am. 

There is a question that has plagued me most of my life; a question that my soul has tried to answer for many years.  It is a life quest question, and one that I only share with those who are absolutely closest and trusted by me.  I have spent so many hours in therapy trying to answer this question, and no therapist has ever been able to show me a way of thinking that I can believe in... a way of looking at things that speaks to my spirit.. Until I met Doctor B!

He has a way of showing me things that I have never seen before.  He is able to speak to my soul in a language that I can understand, and not only understand, but believe in!  He sees things in a light that is completely foreign to me, and yet is like a light in the darkness.

Adam, more than anyone, knows the question in my soul - and for many years Adam has been telling me the same thing that Doctor B is telling me.  The difference is that while I trust Adam's judgement above all others, I have often felt that it is influenced by his love for me, and love is blind after all.  Doctor B has no emotional attachment to me, he has no reason to tell me what I want to hear.  I would even go so far as to say that Doctor B is only as good as his last patient - which means that helping me must be more important to him than telling me what I want or need to hear.

Over and above that, Doctor B does not treat me like a crazy person, nor does he judge any of my actions or anything I tell him.. (I love that about him by the way - he never passes judgement).  He listens, and then responds - but it is not the fact that he responds, it is the way he words things that has me almost hero-worshipping him.  He never pulls his punches, and always says exactly the truth as he sees it.  The amazing thing to me is that the truth as he sees it is comforting to my soul.. it creates a space for me to believe that all is not lost.. that there is hope.. and that the answer to my soul question may not be as terrifying or dramatic as I have always believed.

Today I hashed out an aspect of my "soul question" that I have dealt with many times before.  It is one that I have offered up to every therapist I have ever been to, and the result has always been the same - the therapist gives me an answer from a psyche book, and I leave feeling weak and wounded.  Doctor B, in the space of a few short sentences today, opened my eyes to a truth I have been searching for for so very long.  He said 3 or 4 sentences that have caused a change in my spirit that I never thought possible!

This week has been very rough for me, I have been in a very dark and lonely place.  Not only am I struggling with insanity inside my head, but I have also been feeling guilt about the amount of money that it costs us for me to see Doctor B.  You see, at this time of year our health insurance is completely exhausted - so Caleb's play-therapy and my soul quest therapy have to be paid for in cash.  And I have been struggling with being able to justify spending so much money on my therapy when money is tight... However, because of a complete emotional meltdown I had at the beginning of the week, Adam persuaded me that it is more important for me to see Doctor B than for me to worry about the money.. Adam was so determined that I keep going to my appointments that I let him take the lead - if Adam feels so strongly about me keeping up with my appointments with Doctor B it must be important.

And I am so very grateful that I listened... not only to Adam, but to Lizelle as well... Lizelle has very quickly become a foundation for me.. and between the two of them (at first I thought they were ganging up on me) they ensured that I keep going to Doctor B.  After spending one short hour with him today, he has lightened the heavy burden on my heart... I can truly say that I am happy .. and at peace tonight for the first time in ages..

So I have to say thank you..

Thank you to Lizelle for seeing through my bullshit.  And not only seeing through my bullshit, but for seeing through the bullshit that others have poured into my life..

Thank you to Adam.. for standing by me.. even with all my insanity... thank you for standing strong when I am weak.. thank you for taking the time to see my truth even when others are making their own assumptions..

And lastly..

Thank you to Doctor B.. for finally switching on a light that nobody else has been able to find..

My spirit, for the first time in so very long, believes that there is hope..

Monday, 15 November 2010

Caleb's EEG

Caleb's Doctor, for a few reasons, wanted Caleb to have an EEG to check for anything "strange".  We had to keep him up until 23:00 last night, and wake him by no later than 04:00 this morning.  We were also not allowed to give him any sugar, and were only allowed to give him a really small snack when we woke him this morning!  The theory behind this is that if there is anything strange going on, you are more likely to pick it up when the brain is under stress...

Needless to say last night was fun and games for everyone in the house!  At around 22:00 last night Adam, Caleb and I were playing soccer in the garden.  Caleb was absolutely zonked.. he was saying crazy stuff and not making much sense at all..lol.. poor baby!  The picture is of him at 04:00 this morning.. eating his one allowed piece of toast!

The good news is that the Doctor says that from the initial look of the test, there is nothing that we need to worry about - they will give us a more detailed report when we go back on Monday.

Yay!

Tuesday, 9 November 2010

Away with me...

I am taking the boys to visit my Mum in Magailiesburg for a few days!  At the same time I will be taking a break from (just about) all technology!

So see you all on the flip side!

Friday, 5 November 2010

It took courage to blog this...

Self pity is a pathetic emotion… but my therapist assures me that no matter how negative the emotion, I need to recognise and accept all emotions..


He is of the belief that one of the reasons so many people in modern society struggle with themselves and their environment is that we are taught by our fast paced lives and politically correct thinking that negative emotions are bad. Not only are they thought to be bad, but they are completely denied by those not suffering with them.

For example, how many times do we tell ourselves, or those we love, to “suck it up”, “pull yourself together” or “get a grip”? Pep talks rarely help the person they are delivered to. In fact, I would go so far as to say that not only are they of little help, but they truly just make ‘the sufferer” feel worse; as not only do they now have to deal with the primary negative emotion, but they must also now entertain the idea that they are somehow less than strong for even feeling said negative emotion in the first place.

So, having said that, I am now going to fully indulge my self pity.. I am going to lay it all out here for you to read – and hopefully, in so doing, I will have recognised it, named it, understood its source, and will therefore be able to “go with the flow” until it passes and I am once more my happy jovial self.

Okay.. so .. there are a few steps I have to follow in order to gain emotional intelligence over my current state:

Step 1. - Knowing your own emotions

Now this initial step can further be broken down into 3 sub-steps:

Be aware of your emotion..

This one I have pretty much down, no problem. I am aware that I am filled with self-pity at the moment. There is no denying this step. I would venture out on a limb here and say that not only am I aware of it, but it is making me rather annoying to be around. (Excellent progress Kerren, the first step is the most difficult and now that you have it under your belt, you are free to move on to the next step).

Identify the emotion…

Okay, another pretty easy one for me.. I am able to identify that I am feeling consumed by self-pity. The question is, where does the self-pity come from? See, pity is a secondary emotion, which means that it is a result of something else. So something has led me to feel this morosely sorry for myself.

So, why am I filled with this self-pity? And not only that, what is the source? What is the primary emotion that shoved me down this gloomy path?

Okay.. I have that one figured out too – the primary emotion (or source) is abandonment. Yes yes, I know how laughable that sounds, but it’s the truth! And remember, that the whole point of this blog is to not deny my negative feelings, but to rather understand and accept that they exist. Right.. so we have established that I am feeling abandoned.

So.. lets break it down and figure out where this feeling comes from:

1. Adam is in Dubai – it was a joint venture between my in-laws and me to send Adam on a surprise 10-day holiday to visit his brothers in Dubai. Adam has never been to Dubai, and his brothers have lived there for 3-years. Adam works his tail off for our family, and he is/was in desperate need of a proper vacation. He left last night.. Adam and I have hardly been apart in 10-years; add to that that I am usually the one who travels; being left alone is a completely foreign thing for me.

2. My closest friend is going to a party tonight that I was supposed to go to with her. She offered to stay with me tonight, but I could not let her do that when I know how much she wants to go out and paint the town red this evening…

3. Which brings me to 3.. The reason I am not able to go to this party with her, is because Mel (my mother-in-law) was supposed to have the boys so that I could go, but Mel and Mike, at the last moment, were offered a weekend away at a game reserve this weekend.. And there is nobody else to ask to baby-sit.

4. Most of my friends are now either living in other countries, or tied up with their own things and families this weekend..

5. I keep going through my phone pondering who I can call – but I just don’t feel comfortable phoning anyone telling them that I am feeling desperately lonely.. There is something so pathetic about it..

6. My mother does not live in the same city as we do, and I have hardly any blood family, and the ones I do have live almost an hours drive away..

* Just a note to those mentioned in 1 – 6: Please do not feel like I am blaming you in any way. I truly am not, for one thing you are not responsible for my happiness, I am; and for another I could have told any one of you how I am truly feeling tonight, but I chose not to, so you are not to blame. I only wrote this list to help my reader understand how I got here.

Name the emotion:

The emotion is abandonment. I feel abandoned.. And completely alone.

Step 2 – Managing the emotion:

It is one thing to know the emotion, but a completely different thing to be able to manage it. I know that I cannot allow the emotion to dominate. I have the boys to think of first of all, and Caleb especially is struggling with Adam being gone. So I have to be strong for them.

Also, it is really not very productive for me to sit around moping. I mean for goodness sake, it is not like I am going to be alone forever… which brings me to step number 3.

Step 3 – Motivate yourself – Delayed Gratification!

Right.. soooo.. the key with this one, is that most people who are feeling blue are not motivated to do anything… and I have to say that is pretty much how I feel.. but.. The boys are in bed…the house is quiet, and I have absolutely no excuse for not getting on the bike!

I know that once I finish a 50km cycle I will feel better – it is so true that exercise releases endorphins… and so, on that note..

Hi ho hi ho it’s off to cycle I go!

Thursday, 4 November 2010

Top Secret

I can't tell you yet...

But...

Its almost time to reveal THE SECRET!

Shhhhh... don't say a word...

But...

It is almost time..

Soon all will be revealed...

Tuesday, 2 November 2010

Daughtry Concert...





Ok.. so it seems that no matter where I go, I am always causing trouble..

On Friday night Lizelle and I went to see Daughtry at The Dome - Anyone who knows me knows I love Daughtry.. In fact, love is probably a mild word... I adore him... I know the words to all his songs.. There is a good chance that I have stalker qualities when it comes to Daughtry.. and George of course..

So on our way in, at the gate, they are searching people, as they do - and when we get to the front the "security" lady insists that the camera I am carrying is too big to take into the venue.  At this point I am feeling a wee bit frustrated - the car is miles away and to take the camera back would just be insanity...

While I am contemplating this, the "security" in the row next to us tells me that for "a little something", she will let me in with my camera!  Ahhh.. welcome to Africa.. everything is possible for a price!  We only have R100 notes on us.. so I stick R100 underneath my ticket and hand it to her - she takes it all smiles and duly lets us in with the camera.

The whole two hours Lizelle and I are snapping away with the camera - no problem!  During the second last song I go to take pictures of Daughtry.  While I am standing there with this camera stuck to my face trying to get a good view of him, suddenly my view becomes all blurry and I hear this really big voice (coming from somewhere above me) "Where is your media bracelet?" 

Hello God, is that you?

I take the camera away from my face just as I feel someone grabbing my wrist.  In front of me is this huge "rent a cop" who is behaving in a very aggressive manner.  It went like this..

Rent a cop - Lady I asked you where your media bracelet is
Me - I am not from the media
Rent a cop - then you are not allowed to take pictures with that camera.  How did you get through the door with that camera?
Me - I walked
Rent a cop - Dont get %&*&%  cheeky with me.  How did you get through the door with that camera?
Me - Dude, I am not being cheeky, I really did walk through the door.
Rent a cop - If you take one more %%^&*(* picture I will slap you with a R50 000 fine
Me - Listen, there is no need to flex your muscles with me!  I am not drunk and disorderly, I am not causing any trouble, all you had to do was ask me nicely and politely to put the camera away and I would have.  It is not necessary to speak to me in that tone.

With that, the Rent a cop walked away...

Eish..

The concertt was awesome though.. had a fabulous time!  He is so worth seeing live!

Monday, 1 November 2010

Daniel's 2nd Birthday

 Sweet Birthday boy just before we woke him!
 Adam leaves very early for work, so it was a 05:00 wake up call for presents
 Nothing like a brothers love
 Cake for breakfast is a tradition on the boys' birthdays.. was difficult to swallow at 05:00


 My three boys
 Eish it was a long day!
 Mathew and Ruth's baby girl Heather.. what a pretty little thing
 Adam with his "dont do that face"
 Halloween came early
 Ruth - Mathews wife and a very good friend!
 Lizelle - One of the most selfless people I have ever met..
 Adam's cousin Megan
 Adam's Mum
 My Mum
 Adam's cousin Michelle and her family
 The boys' 2nd cousin - beautiful girl!



lol.. He doesn't look sure about this cake thing!

Wednesday, 27 October 2010

I have gone completely mad..


I have gone completely insane
That's right
You heard me
I am coocookachooo
Off my rocker
I am hearing the music for The Twilight Zone in my head
seriously..
Can't you hear it?
...
...
.....
umm
....
....
......
Do you hear that or is it just me?
"No, it's just you!"
WTF?
Who said that?
...
...
......
01:23:45
01:23:46
01:23:47
01:23:48
...
...
.....
It is 01:23:56 in the morning
And I am awake
Again
I just can't sleep
I am exhausted
I am more than exhausted
But
Every night it's the same thing
Pretty much constant for months now
I average between 2 and 4 hours sleep a night..
I have been awake since 03:30:00 this morning..
and it is now 01:24:34
OMG I am so tired..

*Sitting at my desk
fingers on the keys
(Yes I touch type in case you are wondering
You were wondering weren't you?
Or was that me?
My head hurts
Wait
Where were we?
Oh yes, I must close the bracket-thingie
Ok
Here goes)
banging my head real slow and steady against my desk whilst typing this*

Please let me sleeeeeeeeeeeeep

Its just not fair...
The lack of fairness sucks big suckie stuff (Do you think I will win any awards for that sentence?)

I think Coocookachoo got screwed...



Friday, 22 October 2010

Wednesday, 20 October 2010

Guest Blogging.. Depression ain't for sissies...

Ok.. so a few weeks back I wrote about guest blogging... here is my second entry on this topic.. I have linked Ang's blog before.. I absolutely adore her blog and the way her mind ticks...  Please go and visit her blog and become a follower.. you won't be sorry.. Reading her blog is as essential to my state of mind as my morning coffee... Enjoy!

Photographer: Francesco Marino

When adversity rears its repulsive head, look it in the face and say, "Adversity, kiss my warm, dry, fuzzy butt." - Nike

In our little family Sporty was always the stable influence in our lives, while I tended to hover somewhere between fine and stay the fuck out of my way.

So when the tables were turned recently, it took more than a little getting used to.

Soon after arriving back in Jo'burg, Sporty was inexplicably (or so we chose to believe, 'cos nothing ever is right?) laid up with a dreadful case of the depression lurgy.

We immediately labeled it her 'condishin' and proceeded to poke fun it at. In our house mockery is always the first line of defense. But then Sporty didn't get better, and we were left with no choice but to sit up and pay attention.

"Where's the Rescue Remedy?" I'd ask whenever I found her in a soggy heap on the couch.

"It's finished," she'd invariably slur through her tears.

I was flummoxed.

Then we discovered a homeopathic anti-depressant called Naturally High. Don't you just love the sound of that? The Piscean addict in me immediately took two on an empty stomach (I was sick for the rest of the day).

This miracle cure worked beautifully, so long as she took them with military precision. One minute too late and it would like pouring milk into a cake box and then trying to stop it from running out.

Then we heard about Dr Liang the acupuncturist.

"Depression sometimes chemical, sometimes emotion," he informed a despondent Sporty as he measured her blood pressure and studied her tongue.

"No way of knowing where one start and other stop," he continued sagely. "Come, we put needle."

Sporty left his rooms with a tub of dubious looking brown powder and high hopes. That's not to say she felt better mind you.

"With acupuncture you always feel worse before you get better, by Tuesday this will all be a bad memory." I stupidly promised.

Tuesday came and went, and we were still wobbling precariously along this unfathomable tightrope like a couple of dazed crack addicts.

"What about going to see Jenny?" I asked tentatively, and received a half-hearted glare for my efforts.

Jenny is my holotropic breathwork instructor, and (at that point) way too out there for Sporty's current state of mind.

We added Bach Flower Remedies to Sporty's already formidable collection of things she needed to take in order to manager her 'condishin'. Things started looking up, but with a counter full of weird tinctures, it was hard to pinpoint exactly which one was making the difference.

Still, a visit to Dr Liang was always followed by a meltdown. By then I no longer made desperate statements I couldn't backup.

Eventually after begging, pleading, cajoling and bribing (all without success), I got stern.

"Sporty..." I began.

"What did I do?" she looked panic-stricken. And rightly so, I only ever call her Sporty when it's serious.

"You're tackling your condishin from every angle except one. You're avoiding."

"I know,"

"Can I phone Jenny?"

"Yes,"

Sporty is good at that kind of stuff the way some people are naturally athletic. She's automatically open in a way the rest of us have to work really hard to achieve. I knew if I could just get her there it would make the world of difference.

She came back beaming and it was a whole month before her next episode. And compared to the others, it barely featured on the 'condishin' Richter scale.

Depression isn't for sissies or wusses or the fainthearted, but it does present you with the opportunity to grow.

You say it like that, kinda makes you want to stagnate doesn't it? ;-)

Monday, 18 October 2010

Music Monday


Such a sexy song... makes me think of driving with the windows down.. wind in my hair... sun shining above..

Friday, 15 October 2010

Proudly South African

Kulula is a low cost South African Airline - the great thing about this airline, is that they do not take themselves too seriously.  They are well known for all sorts of hilarious antics here in South Africa.  If only more companies (and people in general) would take themselves a little less seriously and remember that all work and no play makes you a very dull person!

Below are some pictures of one of their newest aircrafts and right at the bottom you will find some quotes from actual PA addressess to passengers.







Kulula airline attendants make an effort to make the in-flight "safety lecture" and announcements a bit more entertaining. Here are some real examples that have been heard or reported:

On a Kulula flight, (there is no assigned seating, you sit where you want) passengers were apparently having a hard time choosing, when a flight attendant announced, "People, people we're not picking out furniture here, find a seat and get in it!"
---o0o---
On another flight with a very "senior" flight attendant crew, the pilot said, "Ladies and gentlemen, we've reached cruising altitude and will be turning down the cabin lights. This is for your comfort and to enhance the appearance of your flight attendants."
----o0o---
On landing, the stewardess said, "Please be sure to take all of your belongings. If you're going to leave anything, please make sure it's something we'd like to have."
----o0o---
"There may be 50 ways to leave your lover, but there are only 4 ways out of this airplane."
---o0o---
"Thank you for flying Kulula. We hope you enjoyed giving us the business as much as we enjoyed taking you for a ride."
---o0o---
As the plane landed and was coming to a stop at Durban Airport , a lone voice came over the loudspeaker: "Whoa, big fella. WHOA!"
---o0o---
After a particularly rough landing during thunderstorms in the Karoo , a flight attendant on a flight announced, "Please take care when opening the overhead compartments because, after a landing like that, sure as hell everything has shifted."
---o0o---
From a Kulula employee: " Welcome aboard Kulula 271 to Port Elizabeth. To operate your seat belt, insert the metal tab into the buckle, and pull tight. It works just like every other seat belt; and, if you don't know how to operate one, you probably shouldn't be out in public unsupervised."
---o0o---
"In the event of a sudden loss of cabin pressure, masks will descend from the ceiling. Stop screaming, grab the mask, and pull it over your face. If you have a small child travelling with you, secure your mask before assisting with theirs. If you are travelling with more than one small child, pick your favourite."
---o0o---
Weather at our destination is 50 degrees with some broken clouds, but we'll try to have them fixed before we arrive. Thank you, and remember, nobody loves you, or your money, more than Kulula Airlines."
----o0o---
"Your seats cushions can be used for flotation; and in the event of an emergency water landing, please paddle to shore and take them with our compliments."
---o0o---
"As you exit the plane, make sure to gather all of your belongings. Anything left behind will be distributed evenly among the flight attendants. Please do not leave children or spouses.."
---o0o---
And from the pilot during his welcome message: "Kulula Airlines is pleased to announce that we have some of the best flight attendants in the industry. Unfortunately, none of them are on this flight!"
---o0o---
On Kulula flight 255 just after a very hard landing in Cape Town, the flight attendant came on the intercom and said, "That was quite a bump and I know what y'all are thinking. I'm here to tell you it wasn't the airline's fault, it wasn't the pilot's fault, it wasn't the flight attendant's fault. It was the asphalt."
---o0o---
On a Kulula flight into Cape Town on a particularly windy and bumpy day, during the final approach the Captain really had to fight it. After an extremely hard landing, the Flight Attendant said, "Ladies and Gentlemen, welcome to The Mother City. Please remain in your seats with your seat belts fastened while the Captain taxis what's left of our airplane to the gate!"
---o0o---
Another flight attendant's comment on a less than perfect landing: "We ask you to please remain seated as Captain Kangaroo bounces us to the terminal."
---o0o---
An airline pilot wrote that on this particular flight he had hammered his ship into the runway really hard. The airline had a policy which required the first officer to stand at the door while the passengers exited, smile, and give them a "Thanks for flying our airline." He said that, in light of his bad landing, he had a hard time looking the passengers in the eye, thinking that someone would have a smart comment. Finally everyone had gotten off except for a little old lady walking with a cane. She said, "Sir, do you mind if I ask you a question?"
"Why, no Ma'am," said the pilot. "What is it?" The little old lady said, "Did we land, or were we shot down?"
---o0o---
After a real crusher of a landing in Johannesburg , the attendant came on with, "Ladies and Gentlemen, please remain in your seats until Captain Crash and the Crew have brought the aircraft to a screeching halt
against the gate. And, once the tyre smoke has cleared and the warning bells are silenced, we will open the door and you can pick your way through the wreckage to the terminal.."
---o0o---
Part of a flight attendant's arrival announcement: "We'd like to thank you folks for flying with us today. And, the next time you get the insane urge to go blasting through the skies in a pressurized metal tube, we hope you'll think of Kulula Airways."
---o0o---
Heard on a Kulula flight: "Ladies and gentlemen, if you wish to smoke, the smoking section on this airplane is on the wing. If you can light 'em, you can smoke 'em."