There seem to be so many bunny boilers around at the moment...
In the past month I picked up a stalker. I am not exaggerating... The VERY short version went like this:
Met a chick... Made it very clear that I do not want to be exclusive with her.. Also made it very clear that I was not looking for a relationship of any sort, and that I was dating other people. Fooled around with her for 5 days. On day 6 I told her that we could not get together that night because I had other plans - enter the bunny boiler!
Starts accusing me of sleeping with people I have never even met - I am good, but getting laid by someone I have never met is beyond even my fabulosity. The abusive and aggressive text messages start here. She drives past my house on numerous occasions to see who is visiting me. Sends me messages about hiding cars in my garage so as to pull the wool over her eyes - Say What???
Firstly, we never dated, we only fooled around for a few days. Secondly I am a 36-year-old woman, I do not need to hide anything from anyone. Thirdly, the person who was actually at my house visiting that evening is now my girlfriend - Thankfully, all the communication that went back and forth between the Bunny Boiler and myself from this point on was witnessed by Zel (the afore-mentioned girlfriend).
The Bunny Boiler then starts threatening people to stay away from me, that they are not allowed to be friends with me - and all the time she is doing this, she is lying through her teeth. She tells me one thing, and tells the other party a completely different story. However, she is so far gone, and so delusional that she actually believes her own lies... it is something to witness, I will tell you that much..
She continues to stalk me, bumping into me in shopping centres, driving up and down my road. She is bipolar though, because one minute she is all sweet and kind, and the next threatening me again. It gets to the point where I am literally scared for my safety. I call my security company and give them her car details as well as a personal description of her - the next time she threatened me I told her to leave me alone. To never contact me again. And I told her that I had given her details over to my security company... Her response was: "When I am done with you, you will need more than just a security company for protection".
So by this point I am completely freaked out... I can't sleep anymore... noises in my house or on my property make me jumpy. I worry that she will come for me at a time of day when she knows I am alone... and when nobody will think anything of it if they don't hear from me for a while..
The last time she threatened me I sat up crying and scared the whole night.. At 4am Zel woke up to me losing my mind and fearing for my safety. At which point my long suffering girlfriend had now had enough. Zel then proceeds to tell the Bunny Boiler to stop picking on me and to rather pick on someone her own size.. and strength...like Zel... She was warned very clearly that this must now come to an end. Since then, I have not heard from her or been threatened again - this was almost a week ago...
Which brings me to my point...
Most stalkers and bunny boilers are merely playground bullies who never grew up. I know that by me blogging this I may be opening myself up to further abuse by my particular bully, but the time has come for us to stand up against this kind of abuse and threats. Bullies get their kicks out of your fear... and they feel safe in your silence.
Well I for one will not stay silent. Too many of our children are the victims of abuse in schools, and I believe that it is up to us to show them that there is nothing to be ashamed of, that you cannot let your fear keep you muzzled. Most bullies retreat when met with resistance - as mine has done since Zel stood up to her. I am still frightened of her, but I will not let fear dominate my life. I for one am speaking out..
Lead by example!