Ok.. so it has been a while since I have posted anything political.. that is due to the fact that nothing has grabbed my attention enough that I feel I need to write about it or my head will explode.. However, that has now changed.. This post has been bobbing around my brain for a few days, but due to my
preoccupation with my own drama, it has had to wait until today...
As you all know, I have been battling demons in recent months, and one of them is whether I am a good person or not.. Am I going to heaven or hell? This question has now been answered for me.. I have a fool-proof plan of how to get into heaven.. All I need do is become a card carrying member of the ANC.. As long as I vote ANC from this day forward I will go to heaven - no matter anything else that I may do in my life!
How can I be so sure you may ask.. Well the answer is simple, a few days ago, Jacob Zuma (South Africa's President), said to supporters in Mthatha in the Eastern Cape: "When you vote for the ANC, you are also choosing to go to heaven. When you don't vote for the ANC you should know that you are choosing that man who carries a fork...who cooks people... "When you are carrying an ANC membership card, you are blessed. When you get up there, there are different cards used but when you have an ANC card, you will be let through to go to heaven."
I wonder what God thinks of this? I trust that he has his membership to the ANC paid-up.. otherwise he may be facing eviction.. Interesting concept.
Another interesting question is who will be standing at the Pearly Gates.. hmmm... Could it be Saint Julius Malema? Now wouldn't that be something? I wonder if he knows he cannot have his mansion, fleet of cars and Rolex at the gates.. or perhaps because he is a member of the ANC he will be allowed to take these with him?
To all my international readers.. you have been warned.. Pay your membership to the ANC or you will be cooked by the man with the fork!