Thursday, 12 March 2009

This and that and something in-between

So for two days now I have been trying to load pictures of Caleb's baking session last weekend, as well as a new video of Caleb making Daniel laugh, but for some reason it just won't load... grrrrr! Hopefully I will get it right soon!

Caleb is sick again.. Poor baby.. I just give up with this child; I have no idea what to do anymore. I have tried GP’s, Paediatricians, Allergy specialists and homeopaths, and everybody swears they have the answer, but none of them can help him long-term. He is coughing again and it is a horrid kind of cough that makes his face turn red and makes him vomit if it carries on for too long… Everybody is telling me something different, including family members and I have so much information running around in my head, and everybody is convinced they know the answer – and none of it works.. NONE OF IT!!! We are heading into winter again, and he has already been on antibiotics three times this year… What am I going to do?

Daniel is his usual happy-go-lucky self.. he is such an adorable little boy. He smiles all day long and only ever gets upset if he is hungry or tired – and even then you have to push him to his limit before he flat-out cries. He is still refusing to roll-over; I have seen him do it once, but since then he has refused to do it again. He really is a lazy little chap. I am once again under pressure to put him on solids – Adam has joined the “pressure gang”, but so far I am holding out. Everyone says that because he is big for his age, and the fact that he looks so interested in our food, means he must be ready – they would have had me put him on solids weeks ago, but I am staying strong!

I believe that there are many signs when a baby is ready for solids, one of them is when they stare at you eating; another is when they are still hungry after a bottle; and also, all the nurses and doctors say that their digestive systems are only ready for solids at 6 months. Daniel never finishes his bottles, and even though he is big for his age, he is still eating the right amount for his age – he sleeps through the night, and never wakes up hungry before 5.30. Plus he is only 4.5 months old. So I am holding out for a little longer. I can take the pressure, I have very broad shoulders.

Speaking of broad shoulders, I started my new weight management programme at gym on Monday and it has been really tough. It is not only about the exercise, but is also to do with what you are eating and changing your eating habits for a healthier life. Anyone who knows me, knows that I am a complete and utter sugar addict, especially chocolate. Well since Monday I have had NO chocolate.. NOTHING.. NOT ONE!!! And absolutely no sugar of any kind! It has been really difficult, but I have been so disciplined and I am so proud of myself because this morning when I arrived at gym I weighed myself and I have lost 3kgs.. YAY FOR ME!

There are different phases in the programme, and the first phase that I am in now lasts one week. It focuses on cold-turkey detox to get rid of your addictions to unhealthy food and drink.. Then you move onto a 6 week weight-loss and stabilizing phase and then after that, phase 3 teaches you how to increase your metabolism by eating and exercising so that you don’t have to diet for the rest of your life to stay slim! I love it. And can’t wait to feel attractive again.. I miss that feeling. I hate looking in the mirror, and I hate it when people look at me at the moment.. I feel so big and ugly… and feeling this way is a huge motivation to stay on this programme and lose the weight.

The other thing about looking this way that I hate is how people look at me whenever we eat in public.. Its like if you are skinny you are allowed to enjoy good food and desert in a restaurant, but if you are over-weight you should just sit with your mouth shut and watch everyone else eat.. I loathe feeling this way. Sometimes I just want to shout-out, “I just had a baby for goodness sake, give me a break!”

Anyway, enough on the negative, I am on my way to regaining my sex-appeal and self-esteem! YAY!


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