I am feeling kind of sad..:(
Like Max's blog, there are a few other blogs that I follow that are along a similar line. I also belong to a website called Babyfit.com and there are a few forums there that I follow which are also about pregnancy/infant/child loss. I know Adam thinks it is not good for me to follow these topics, but I do it for one reason - I do it because I try and offer some support emotionally to the women as they go through, what must be, the most difficult thing any mother can experience - the loss of a child.
As many of you will already know, I know all too well the pain of miscarriage and I remember from those times how helpful it was to be in contact with other women who understood my pain. As much as family and friends tried to help me, they could not truly understand the raw emotion of losing a baby..but I found that support from other moms who had suffered this type of loss really helped me. So now, I try to give something back by giving emotionally to the moms who are currently dealing with their pain..
A friend of mine asked me just last week to write to her daughter who had just suffered a missed miscarriage and perhaps try to help her through my own experience. While I always feel it is my duty and honour to try and offer support in these cases, I have to admit that it drains me and opens all those old wounds again.. On one hand I think it is good for me to be able to talk about it, but on the other hand there is a part of me that wants to just leave it in the past.
And yet isn't that a bit selfish? I have two beautiful boys asleep in their rooms.. I have a husband who loves me and family I can count on... I am blessed..
But sometimes I miss my lost babies as much as if they were people I had lost whom I had known all my life..
And so tonight I am sad..:(