Soooo.... following the idea of guest blogging, here is my first guest blogger! I am very excited to have her write on my blog. I love the way she writes and greatly admire the way her mind works.. it just seems to tick on a different level to most mortals... I have been trying to persuade her (for a while now) to start her own blog.. hopefully this will get her moving in that direction...
So.. without further blah blah blah from me...
The Ying and Yang of I
Most of you on this blog don’t know who I am. The majority of you will probably not even look twice if I were to walk past you in a busy street. A few of you might just stop, turn around and notice my fictional character walk into a building. Kerren was one of those people. The difference is that not only did she stop to notice me but she also took time out of her busy life to get to know me.
I don’t know how many of you here know Kerren on a personal level, but she has a way about her that entangles your attention in a web of intellectual conversation and emotional honesty. It is refreshing, to say the least.
However, I’m not here to blow sunshine up Ms Rennie’s ass – even though I know that she loves every second of it. I wish to use this moment to assist you in understanding what Kerren has helped me see.
I have always had certain dualities of my own true self that have, along the years, created a sense of balance within fictional aspects of who I am, in order to win approval from who you are. I don’t believe that I am alone in this, as our conditioning, the expectations of our parents – society all play a role in the image that we choose to portray to the world.
In the past year I have been forced to face the true essence of who I am. Circumstances and fate compelled me to come face to face with both my light and my dark which forced me not to be blinded by the fictional character that I created. And it is only since Kerren and I have been in touch that I have become increasingly aware of my dark side. You see, with Kerren I don’t have to hide. I expose myself every time we speak and in doing so I learn about myself more and more every day. I have come to certain conclusions. I have noticed things about my character that may seem ugly to some. I have even had big debates with myself about my actions and the consequences that may follow. Slowly but surely the honesty about who I am has been peeling away at the layers of this artificial character, and today, as I stand here alone with nothing but my words to fill the void left by what I have lost, I can truly say – This is Me.
I have come to realise that the truth about who I am always comes in the form of dualities. I am a truthful, honest human being who lives by the principle of harm to none, but when faced with fear, with a love that refuses to see all sense of reason and denies all ethics – I can become deceitful and selfish. When challenged by extremes I will counter with extremes. When threatened by hatred or by the misconceptions that people may have of who I am – I will stand firm and stubborn defending the choices I made, even if I think that there may have been a different path – a higher path.
I refuse to believe that I am the only one in this realisation, and in no sense do I endorse the selfish actions of our dark sides, nor do I support the notion of ‘The Devil made me do it’. What I am doing, is revealing my truth and showing you that denial of this reality will lead us only into a deeper sense of deceit. What I am trying to say, is that by embracing this realisation of self - understanding will follow, and with understanding comes respect and with respect comes acceptance.
I have been blessed to find a person that seems to accept me without fear. I have found a friend that I have exposed myself to – I have revealed all – and I am left feeling more loved in this honesty than I have ever felt in my misleading efforts to be perfect.
So I ask all of you – Go home tonight, stand in front of the mirror and be honest. Show your husband, your wife, your girlfriend, boyfriend, dog – whatever – just show yourself to a person you trust and I guarantee you that you will be opening doors that will lead you to self realisation and Love.
This is a truth that has been taught throughout the centuries, but that has only recently found my conviction.