Doctor B is trying to kill me.. I am convinced of it!
Lizelle has taken to calling him Doctor Feelgood, because usually once I finish a session with him that's how I feel... but not this week!
He wants to delve into things that I am not ready to talk about... and it is causing me stress...
He says that I need to talk about them so that they lose the power to frighten me... but I am not convinced... I have always been of the belief that if I keep them locked away and do not give them any energy, then they cannot hurt me... He disagrees...
It's just that some of these things I have kept hidden for so long.. I am not sure I want to feel it all again.. But Doctor B says that memories should not have power over us.. that they only have power over us if we allow them to affect our present.. if we allow them to hurt as real events rather than just memories of something that happened. I tried to convince him that he is wrong.. unfortunately, he is right... and we both know it...
So right now I am feeling emotionally drained... and just not ready to face my demons... eish.. wish it was all over with ...
I want to write more, but have worked my arms so hard in the past couple of days that they feel weak and like they are too heavy for me to lift.. so I have to stop typing now.. every keystroke is agony...
Watch this space!
