My bum has no purpose

Stuff my 3-yr-old says:  

 Me: Daniel, did you make a stinky?

 Daniel: No Mamma, my bum is quiet. you did it!

 Me: I am a lady Daniel, ladies don't poop

 Daniel: Then what is your bum for?



Amnesia

Definition: A condition experienced by first-time moms, which allows them to forget labour so that they may go on to have more children

Feedback

Definition: The inevitable result when your baby doesn't appreciate the strained carrots!

Dumb Waiter

Definition: One who asks if the children would care to order dessert!